I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
