Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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