She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
