Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
