So drunk its hurt
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
