I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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