He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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