we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
