So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
