So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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