You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
