I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He shit in the fireplace
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
