had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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