Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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