Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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