What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
