im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
