I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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