I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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