Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
