That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
