Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
