I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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