not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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