I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
