Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
