He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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