honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
