East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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