I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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