hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
