Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
