Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hippo gnu deer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
