Dual....:-)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
