good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
wow bdsm is so cute
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
