Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize