I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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