I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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