OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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