is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
