Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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