Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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