Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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