My Higher Power is John Stamos
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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