READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
