He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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