He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
