the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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