Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
