And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
