Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
