so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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