ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and she was petting her beer can
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
