Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She bit a glass in half.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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