Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize