How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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