So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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