Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
