Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
