I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
