Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
