but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
