I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
