walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
