so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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