I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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