Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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